Why Women Pick the Wrong Men

Unfortunately, most women don’t truly know thyself.  They may know what they like, but fail to understand what they need.  Most of this is due to the lack of being honest with oneself.  You have to understand your personality, demeanor, energy, needs and wants in order to find someone who complements your style.  You have to be in tune with your own spirit to understand when you find someone who vibes with it.  I call this chemistry.

We all have positive and negative traits, but the average person refuses to acknowledge their own shortcomings.  It is your shortcomings that you should focus on when finding a partner.  Those unattractive traits of your personality can be strengthened by a partner who excels in them and perhaps teach you how to overcome them.  If you know you’re a bossy, controlling, spoiled and sensitive person, you simply cannot date someone who is hostile.  You need someone who is assertive, compromising, compassionate and considerate.  A real man won’t let you control him anyway; he will lead by example and you will follow without him having to say a word.  That’s how a man should operate as a leader.  I’m not saying that someone shouldn’t try to change their negative traits, but they don’t need to be with someone who has them either.

Sharing the same positive traits are a plus, but you must find someone to help balance the scale.  Most women don’t know what complements their personality because they haven’t truly looked in the mirror.  Complements are not being the same.  The same hues of a yellow and yellow flower may match, but they don’t complement each other.  But a yellow and blue flower complements one another.  Your partner should be strong in your weaknesses and you should be strong when they are weak.  Of course, you should share some of the same common interests like music, religion and extracurricular activities such as sports and traveling, etc., but those things do not make up your personality, they only influence it.

How can you pick the right partner when you don’t know what complementary parts you need?  If you know you can’t tolerate something or it’s too close to comfort, then why bother?  Too often we get fixated on looks and forget that personality and chemistry trumps attraction.  You can have the most handsome man in the world who doesn’t complement you at all.  Your style of dress and the way you carry yourself may be in sync, but not how you vibe with each other.  And no I’m not saying date the back of a baboon’s rear end, but you have to look beyond the surface.

Chemistry is so important.  It’s that feeling you get when you don’t know why you like someone who isn’t necessarily your type.  You’re attracted to their spirt and aura.  That is the feeling you should be looking for when waiting to exhale.

Common interests come into play during downtime.  Can you two have fun without outside entertainment?  Can you carry on a conversation without arguing?  Can you ride in the car with music and not kill each other?  Do you still enjoy each other in silence?  Those are important when it comes to dating too.  But I am a firm believer that knowing oneself is the most pertinent feature when it comes to dating.



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