Communication is Key
A lot of people share their relationships with me and confide in me for advice. Often when I hear them explain their problems, I notice common themes surrounding their arguments.
Communication is huge in relationships. But I’m starting to realize a lot of people think communication is delimited to explaining how you feel to someone. Although it’s important to express your feelings and emotions in relationships, we must understand that they aren’t tangible and are nothing more than figments of our imagination. The communication we should have is why those emotions and feelings developed and how we are going to respond to them.
It always surprises me when I hear someone say their partner doesn’t understand their vision or why they are working towards something. Especially after I ask them if they have shared these sentiments with their partners. Most often, their response is no. How can your partner support you if they don’t know what your plan is? How can they change if they don’t know what’s the issue? It’s our responsibility to properly communicate with our partner and let them into our mental world. We can’t expect anyone to read our minds.
When you are in a committed relationship, your conversations should be about your progression. You should be discussing your plans, goals, desires, aspirations, family expectations, financial dispositions, educational journeys and business ventures. If you are in a relationship and aren’t working towards something together, you really don’t have anything. You are just existing and sharing the same space. Joy comes from joint accomplishments, moments of clarity and peace.
You should understand exactly why your partner is committed to their actions. Those are my thoughts about being equally yoked. It’s not just about religion, it’s ensuring your goals are in alignment. If you want 5 kids, own a multi-million-dollar company and help homelessness by building houses across the country, but your partner only wants a child and is comfortable working a 9-5, of course you’re going to argue because you’re not on the same wavelength. They are frustrated with the hours and time you commit to your plan and you think they are lazy for being comfortable with their lifestyle. But people don’t have these conversations when they are involved. It creates disconnect and uneasiness.
My motto is no relationship should be that hard. If you find that it is more difficult than you like, have these types of conversations with your partner and I guarantee you will quickly find out if you are walking together or apart. Creating goals with your partner allows them to witness your growth and be proud of you for accomplishing your goals. These are the type of conversations you should have in a committed relationship and not who cheated on who and spent all the money. More on that topic in my next blog. Peace.