Just Don’t Cheat
I’ve been wanting to write about cheating for a long time, but fall victim to procrastination. To be honest, I wanted to write about it during the whole Jay-Z and Beyonce Lemonade scandal, but didn’t. Every time a new story is hot, I wait too long to write about it, but the sad part is, there’s always another story; you know like Tristan Thompson, Kevin Hart and Donald Trump Jr. to name a few.
Simply put, cheating is one of the worst things you can ever do to your partner. It’s a very disrespectful and humiliating offense to commit against someone you claim to love. It is extremely hurtful and ensues feelings of betrayal, abandonment and self-hate in the victim, which can negatively affect the success of their relationships in the future. I just want to send a clear, direct message to men who don’t understand why their cheating is shameful and should not be tolerated by anyone.
The reason why cheating is such a heinous crime is because it is literally the most intimate anyone can be to another person. It’s our way to give life and reproduce for goodness sake. I’m not sure how that level of sexual intimacy does not warrant the upmost loyalty and respect.
Although we live in a hyper-sexual society, we undervalue the role of sex in committed relationships. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, sexual companionship is necessary too just like needing air and water to survive. Sex is a very emotional effort which requires comfortability and balanced chemistry. I don’t think it’s too common for two strangers to just walk up to each other and decide to have sex at once. Unless of course, they are sex addicts who pay prostitutes for sex. What this means is that more than likely, those two people built a relationship with each other long before they lost self-control and decided to have sex. That’s where the cheating first occurred. Sex only sealed the deal and made the cheater look even worse.
Unbeknownst to most people, it’s the emotional side of cheating that hurts the most. The fact that cheaters took the time, energy and effort to build a sexual relationship with someone else, when really they should have been focusing on their partner and taking care of their own relationship. Men will never understand how annoying it is to know another woman can garner your man’s attention.
When people choose to cross that line, unless of course they were raped, and decide to proceed with sex, let me tell you what that really means in the most direct manner. It means that at that moment in time, the cheater decided that person you are about to smash is worth more than your partner and all the consequences that come along with it to have that thrill. It means you were completely engulfed by lust and lost all respect and loyalty for your partner. It means that there was not one time you forced yourself to envision the image of your partner and instead choose to stop and consider her feelings. It means that cheaters did not care and were selfish, brash and quite honestly, gross.
Because here’s the thing, people have a choice to be monogamous or not. People may sit here and read this and question why I have my strict rules about it, when the reality is no one must abide by these principles. They can choose to be in an open relationship with people who want to share their sex partners with other people. But nah, most men don’t wanna do that. Ya’ll wanna go after the most successful women who desire marriage, a family and success, and cheat on her with a chick on welfare, living in her cousin’s attic. I don’t think it’s even necessary for me to describe how terrible that feels. Selfish men want a woman to love his guts and a whore to lust after him at the same time. They’re greedy, cheating, manipulators who are never satisfied even after mastering their challenge.
Let me kick it to you real quick. Ask yourself. What is the number one downfall of most women? The men they choose to be with. A man can either bring love and empowerment to a woman or agony and grief. In the most extreme cases, they can bring violence and death as well. Too often, women settle for men who they know are terrible people because most women don’t know what they need. Then we invite these same men into our homes bringing along with them all of their toxic traits, behaviors and activities. It is absolutely imperative that women make better decisions in who we choose to be with as it affects so many critical aspects of our lives like who we share our spirits with and allow to father our children.
But, if woman does fall victim to a charming failure, may she have the strength and courage to find a man who would not ever dream of cheating on her because he values her too much.
This doesn’t mean that people can’t forgive and be together and move on. But, it better not happen again because then it becomes an emotionally abusive relationship. And if women decide to deal with that, then don’t complain.
The reality is, no one else will forget what happened. So even when people decide to work it out, just know other people who know, have to get over it too. Just part of the consequences that most people ignore when they decide to cheat.
In the end, love conquers all. To stay or not to stay is not better or worse than the other. It boils down to people’s boundaries and needs being met to determine what is best for them. I’ll just be happy when we decide to employ more respect in committed relationships. If you don’t want to do that, then stay single. It’s that simple. Too easy.